It has been a while (Thanks to my exams ) but i am back now ! In a rush of searching a piece from my lovely memories (it's something about winter nites i swear!). I found nothing to digging to my previous friendships,platonic crushes,neither relationships. I am about think,i screwed many people ( well,literally !) :)))
Sigh...i am really wishing to have this black eyed boy somewhere near to me sometimes....
Very soon,i am gonna be back with my first phrase from my novel that i started to write a while. Stay tune ! :)
16 Ocak 2014 Perşembe
Bana birseyler anlat Baba. Masal da olur hikaye de, Yeter ki birseyler anlat... Tell me something dad.
Either a tale or a story,
Just tell me something dad...
9 Ocak 2014 Perşembe
Finally ! i made it !! I don't know why i couldn't enter for a while but problem solved for now ! Couple of days ago,i found my ex-bf (Irish) on linkdn. then all the memories came to my mind. Well,to be honest,i don't remember much but there were good times :)) Whole night,i listened to Mazzy Star's ' Fade into You" then all nostalgic moments followed after (Sigh...). It's possible to love of being love rather than a loving that person.You know what i mean .. You love the feeling of flying butterflies in your stomach, first touch,first kiss,first 'love you blah blahs '. (well ,yeah,i have a teenager soul..! : ))) I might even describe it as " love addiction" but not uncontrolable,trust me. Well, for this kind of people, i wouldn't suggest to get married! Love survives for 2yrs,then habit,friendship is left (if you're lucky even an ordinary sexlife but nope,not the exciting one) :)) Somehow Winter hasn't arrived to Belgium yet,still waiting : )) Even if it is not raining,the weather is depressive anyway,which causes you to be more melancholic. Maybe i should prepare a radio program,really...pfff
I want to hold the hand inside you I want to take a breath that's true I look to you and I see nothing I look to you to see the truth You live your life You go in shadows You'll come apart and you'll go blind Some kind of night into your darkness Colors your eyes with what's not there.
Fade into you Strange you never knew Fade into you I think it's strange you never knew
A stranger's light comes on slowly A stranger's heart without a home You put your hands into your head And then smiles cover your heart
Fade into you Strange you never knew Fade into you I think it's strange you never knew
Fade into you Strange you never knew Fade into you I think it's strange you never knew I think it's strange you never knew
What if, He was calling instead of being scared (then). (maybe he was right ...) What if , We were going to meet the next day,instead of being scared (then) What if, I was actually taken an action,instead of being scared and waiting... Sometimes, Specially right before sleeping, between awake and sleep mood,something really tiny between these two, I feel like i can just open a tiny window or curtain ; feels like i am flowing into this alternate version and i see;i feel what is like, then the rest feels like an illusion... i am feeling so lighted,and actually happy ... (No i am not hight or i wasn't :)) Then we are there as well... Maybe whole life is an illusion with our choices,choices seems like we can not change but actually we can,still not believing to so ... I am actually there,still living in that lovely night and you are still so lovable ... I like to be lost into this illusion-reality sometimes.
Don't bother me but try to do the same ...
Ya korkup kacmak yerine ( o zaman) arasaydi.
(Belki de hakliydi... )
Ya ertesi gun bulussaydik ,korkup kacmak yerine.
Peki ya ben,korkmak ya da beklemek yerine,adim atsaydim...
Bazen,
Ozellikle de uyumadan once,uyku ile uyaniklik arasinda,bu ikisinin arasindaki incecik cizgide,
Ufacik bir pencere ya da perde aciyormus gibi hissediyorum ; alternatif bir versiyon goruyormus gibi hissediyorum;gercekten oluyormus ,icindeymis gibi hissediyorum ve ardimdaki hersey sanki bir iluzyon,hayal gibi geliyor...
hayli hafiflemis hatta mutlu hissediyorum...
(herhangi bir uyusturucu ya da ona benzer birseyin etkisinde degilim,kullanmiyorum da :))
Belki de hayatin tumu, secimlerimizin bir iluzyonu,degistiremeyecegimize inandigimiz ama aslinda degistirebilecegimiz secimler , ama hala mumkun gormedigimiz...
Aslinda hala oradayim,hala o guzelim gecede,aksamda yasiyorum ve sen hala oyle sevilesin ki...
Bazen bu iluzyonvari gercekte kaybolmayi seviyorum.
Hayat üç bölümdür: Dünyayı değiştireceğini sandığın, dünyanın değişmeyeceğine inandığın ve dünyanın seni değiştirdiğine emin olduğun.
Şu şekilde adapte edebilirim: Evlilik hayatı üç bölümdür : O'nun değişeceğini sandığın,o'nun değişmeyeceğine inandığın ve "değiştirmeye çalışmakla ya da değişeceğini sanmakla aptallık ettiğine " emin olduğun. Life consisting of three parts : You think you can the World, you believe that the World won't be change and you are sure that the World can change you. Now,i can adapt this into marriage : Marriage consisting of three parts : You think that he will change one day,you believe that he won't change and you are sure that it was a total stupidity to believe you could change him or you tried to change him.
