" But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger,
Do you have to let it linger? "
On iki yil onceydi..
Oylesine birseydi bizim aramizda ki, birbirimizin yüzünü senelerce görmeden,yine senelerce beraber olmanin planlarini yapiyorduk.
Saatlerce süren telefon konusmalarimiz,gülüsmelerimiz,mektuplarimiz, kirmizi guller : )
Ona verdigim sozleri tutmadim.Kalbini kirdim . Hayatimda belki de ilk defa ( yok ,ikinci defa ) bir erkegin nasil bir çocuk gibi aglayabilecegine şahit oldum , üstelik sadece bana - Lütfen beni bekle ..diye yalvariyordu .
O güzel gözlerine ,ictenligine, sabrina...ona nasil kiydim, bilmiyorum..
Korkularima yenik dustum,bencilce davrandim.
Ve Biliyorum,dönüsü yok.
Bazi seylerden kaçmanin sadece "bazi seyleri " daha da güçlendirdigini ögrendim.
Ve "Bir korkak gibi defalarca ölmektense , bir defa ölmenin daha cesurca oldugunu " ..
:*
" But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger,
Do you have to let it linger? "
It was twelve years ago ...
It was such a thing btwn us that we planned to be together for years without even seeing each other for years.
Talking for hours on the phone , giggling together ,our letters , red roses : )
I was witness to a man crying like a child for the first time in my life ( or it was second time ) Moreover he was begging me and saying "Please wait for me "
I don't know how i could do this to him .. to his beautiful eyes.. to his sincerity ..to his patience..
I was defeated by my cravenness and acted so selfish.
And i know there is no way to go back.
I have learned that running away from something just make " something " stronger
and " it is better to die only once than dying everyday like a coward. "
: *
